I think I'm probably about to open up a big ole can of worms here, but I've got to say it... It's my blog, right? I can say whatever I want!
I want a baby! So snuggly and sweet. With that little newborn breath, and the sweet way their head smells... Those tiny little hands that I could just kiss on the palms for hours... Those little curled up legs to tuck under and pat away on a freshly diapered behind. Those quiet moments when it's just you and the baby, and nothing else matters.
However, what I don't want are sore breasts, another c-section to recover from, the 50+ lbs I seem to always put on... at least 15 of those going directly to my boobs... The rest going directly to my hips and thighs... no sleep, breast pumping, baby gear stacked up to wazzoo... cringing everytime I try to get a moments worth of peace and all they want to do is scream... clinging toddlerhood, potty training, schedule adjusting, no traveling (the big kind at least) and all around chaos that babies tend to bring with them.
That's why they are so cute you know... to make up for all of the mayhem.
We'd have to move or renovate, because quite frankly, sewing is keeping me from going completely insane. It helps for mom to have a creative outlet that doesn't involve the kids. And the last bedroom in this house, just happens to be my studio space. And with the housing market the way it is here, I really do not relish the idea of paying $150/sq. foot for a house the size we would need. (All of those people living on the coasts, you can stop laughing now... I know that's not much compared to California or Hawaii, but it's a LOT for here!)
OK, so that's what I've thought about all week. I think it's because the idea of Hubby getting fixed is just SO PERMANENT... even though technically, it's not. And it's freaking me out a bit. It almost makes me feel selfish to choose travel and fun over a child... even though said child isn't even conceived. So many friends are popping out babies left and right.... some are up over 4 or 5 now. And hey, that's great. If you can handle it, go right ahead and procreate. (I SWEAR I didn't mean to rhyme that ...)
Life here in ADD world like it is, brought me through all of THAT mess this week to this conclusion. I need a project. A big one.
And if I'm being selfish over the whole no baby thing, then why not pull out all of the stops! I want a new studio!!! After talking to a few people, I found out that it would be possible to take in a bit of our huge 1500 sq/ft of attic space for a bonus room. Oh the possibilities!!!
To go from this...
AND, while they are here, and I'm spending the dough... I might as well think about getting rid of that horrible plastic-y shower and have that tiled in with a frameless surround...
AND, we could have our kitchen counters and backsplash done, since they would be here tiling anyway...
and while I'm at it, WHO is THEY? The chick on HGTV is putting up her own backsplash... and if she's never picked up a hammer before, what makes me think that I couldn't do it myself! I would be THEY! (Boy, I really hope MOM doesn't read my blog!!! she'd be having a heart attack by now!)
So now, of course, I have to do a great deal of research, because that's just how I am... and this is probably a project that's months away if not several pipe dreams and arguments, but BOY! Oh Boy! Don't you just LOVE a project!!!